Apr 26

01

LANGUAGE BARRIER

I just watched Baise Moi – you know, the French movie codirected by the feminist and the porn star – without benefit of subtitles. My grade nine French is something less than supple, but here’s a review nonetheless.

* * *

Opens with some murkiness in a bar, lots of meaningful glances. Fast-forward. Tough guys fronting and tough women fronting back (Thelma and Louise hereafter). Thelma and Louise bond in a park before nasty, violent scene in a garage. Fast-forward. Sex scene with Thelma as prostitute and creepy guy who looks like Moby. Fast-forward. Louise has a row with her boyfriend, who pulls a gun. Thelma has a fistfight with her girlfriend, which ends in what looks like a broken neck. Louise turns the gun on the boyfriend, messily.

Things now appear to have changed.

Thelma argues with greasy guy. There is stress. He leaves and gets splattered on a sidewalk. She leaves with his money. She hooks up with Louise, they drink beer, smoke and steal a car. Fast forward. In a beach town, they conspire. They dance in their underwear. They steal from a woman at an ATM, then kill her. They bonk a couple guys in a hotel room (extremely graphic sex). Fast-forward. More people are killed for money. A guy flirts with them in a casino, then is treated to a smidgen of sex before having his face stomped in. Fast forward.

They check into another hotel, whose owner receives a spirited blowjob from Thelma. Louise shags some mopey punk rock guy. Fast-forward. They visit a man at his home, steal his diamonds, and kill him too. Off to a sex club, where creepy people enjoy public sex, all of whom are executed.

On the way to the country, Louise catches a shotgun blast while robbing a garage, and Thelma feels remorse. As she’s dealing with her melancholy, contemplating suicide, the cops show up.